Yay, Obama won.
Now, plz to be quiet ppl in skool, no more random 'OBAMAAAAAA!' in the halls an' in my earz, plz.. I R happeh tooooo, but y'know, we are in skool, and R here 2 gets an edjumacation, not to nom of eachother's heads for bein' diffrunt.

Anyway, back to intelligence. My friend Kayleigh got me into the band The Medic Droid.
Tis much awesome, yus.

 

( Shit no one wants to read. )</div>

Yeah, I'm just that pathetic. It's not like anyone'll read this anyway. And it won't matter if anyone does, because they more than likely don't know about anyone mentioned/ don't really care.
Whoopie.  Random poll, just 'cause.

Poll #1292226 Nom nom nom
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What's your opinion of me?

Would you be interested in my art/photos?

 

Lookit the little guy! Ain't he cute??!

I dunno, sometimes I feel like it's pointless to post on here anymore...It's been hard for me to connect with people lately.
I seriously doubt any of my old friends read these anymore... and I don't blame them, really. I wouldn't either.

But that aside, I just feel like talking about things... This is all I have. Talking to no one has it's advantages. I don't have to make sense to anyone but myself.
I find it hard to talk to people who arn't like me... how do I explain this?
It's hard to connect with people who arn't on my mind's level. My Realm is sovast, it may seem like I'm not listening or paying attention or just plain stupid, but I'm not. I just have so much going on in my Realm, so much in my mind, that it just weighs down and demands my attention. I can't connect with these one-dimensional people who just seem so empty... I look into there eyes and I see nothing. Nothing reflects back out into their eyes... Their eyes are always so small and have nothing behind them, like black paint. It's so hard to communicate with them...  And then all they have to say is superficial, unimportant crap. At the worst, they're almost primal. And it makes me feel so horrible sometimes, when my mind comes up with that. I know the human itsself is an animal, but these people here, in the places I go... I just don't understand them, they way they act, everything. And then they give me the dirty looks when I try my best to understand but still come up short. 
So, I make myself dumb. I let the people around me, the people in my life be superior. I fade into the background quietly. I avoid confrontation, and just smile and nod.
And I hate myself for it.
I really do.
I retreat into the Realm, because the people there arn't like the people in this world. They are more real, more understanding. They might not have lived as comfortably as we do here, but they find ways to happy, with or without what we have, like cellphones and computers.
I just wished other were like me, because I don't feel right talking about these people from the Realm unless someone understands, and doesn't think I'm some kind of lunatic or freak because I'm not, I'm really not.
- 
I've been called an Indigo/Crystal child before.
I've been able to communicate with the unseen my whole life. i see things coming sometimes, and I can see BS coming from someone a mile away.
Untill I started High School, I was always alone because no one was like me. No one wanted to be near me in elementart and middle school because I was reading Anne Rice and I didn't like other things other girls liked ( and trust me, it wasn't for lack of trying- I actually got a subscription to a teen girl magazine and tried to see the point of it all, I really did.). 
Untill I started high school, I was convinced I would lead a very lonely life.
Then, on my first day, I met my best friend ever. That year, we had half of our classes together, and we got really close. 
She was like me, and that made me so happy. She actually introduced me to others that I could connect to, and to my soul mate (even though at the time we were kinda afriad of eachother, but we took a chance and look at us now!) .
But, now all those people are going off to college, and I'm still stuck here for another year.
I'm scared that I'm going to be alone again.
I mean, what are the chances of people like my friends are going to be freshmen this next school year?
I know not all of my friends are graduating, but it's hard because my best friends are graduating.
This worry is making me physically sick...
And I'm too scared to talk about it. I'm supposed to be the strong one, the one who is fearless in the face of danger and peril. I don't want to admit my weakness, because it makes me seem more... human... more realistic. Not my usual self.
I don't want to reach my breaking point again. I've come so far, I've acomplished so much. 
I don't want togo back to what I was.
I just want to feel like it's gonna be okay, that I'm going to succeed. 
It's just so hard without that kind of confidence...

Trying to park- " Fuck hitting the gnome- I'm hittin' the tree!"

About my old Driver's Ed. Teacher- "Well, he's always saying ' If you get in a car, you're opening yourself up to Death.' And the only thing I could think of was ' I hope Death has a small penis.' "

Dinner-  "Can you taste Sora?"

And to top it off, my sister looked me straight in the eye and said " Black hole uterus." Funny at the time, but alone, not so much.

Oh yeah.
It's update time!

Are you excited yet??

Yeah, everything's been getting better.
I'm in a writing mood.
Who's up for a random (unfinished) story?

My grandma was diagnosed with an agressive form of pancreas cancer two months ago.

Wensday, the doctors say she's got about 10-20 days left.

It spread to her liver, and she's got leisons in her stomach.
......
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1. The person who tagged you is...
</a></a>optical_nerve

2. Your relationship with him/her is...
Interesting.

3. Five impressions you have of him/her...
Smart,  artistic, creative, funny... andpervy. But that's okay! Pervy people are fun people! <3

4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you.
I remember the commision she did for me once, and the pic she did for me for Xmas... I still have them!!

5. The most memorable words he/she has said to you.
Hmmmm...Not sure.... but it had to do with Hazel...

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
Worship she ground she walks on? I dunno...

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be...
Be more happy? Not sure...

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
;o; Cry. A lot.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be...
Most likely something silly, knowing me...

10. The most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is...
Make them slime! =D

11. Your overall impression of him/her is...
Smart, thoughtful person.

12. How you think people around you feel about you...
I know a few people think I'm annoying and stupid, but there are others who find me funny, charming, and cute.... I hope...

13. The characteristic you love about yourself is...
My randomness. *puts on fuzzy top hat*

14. On the contrary, the characteristic you hate about yourself is...
i have anger issues sometimes....

15. The most ideal person you want to be is...
Taller, healthier, and less angry..

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them...
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you - TRY NOT TO PEEP AT THE QUESTION BELOW BEFORE WRITING DOWN THE NAMES.
1.agoutimare
2.bandanna_boy_17
3.leikomgwtfbbq
4.tigerzah n
5.samt03
6. hazel_grosse 7.  [info]graver_248
8.grenhilndieagan
9.demyx
10.yukie1013
 
    </div>

Britany broke up with me.
she...she says she doesn't love me like that anymore.... even after just two days ago telling me she loved me...I don't want it to be true, it hurts so much... Like something inside me was shattered and everything that reminds me of her digs the shards deeper and harder into me...i know I've complained so much about her, but I still love her no matter what... I just can't stop...I don't want to stop... Everything I did, all my hopes, my dreams, all included her... I didn't care about the future before she came, didn't care about how I looked or anything... and I helped her, saved her from her depression... but now she's ending our bond, and it hurts more than getting a tooth pulled... I can't move on so quick as her, I just can't... I don't know when or if or anything... I just feel so sad....

Sorry 'bout my last post. Pent-up stress. Yeah.
I noticed that No one really reads my journal anymore.... Nor do I post a lot. Odd. Oh well, I really don't mind.Not like I have all the time in the world anymore.
Something I saw on Deviantart- some shithead was nagging some yaoi artist that she'd be a great artist if she stopped drawing 'trash like this' or something to that affect.
WFT? What is wrong with people? I mean, gods, I know we all have our differences, but people really don't need to take it out on others. Everyone has their own personal prefenences. I mean, if we all liked the same shit, we'd just be clones of eachother, and be lower than other animals.
And people also should stop pressing their belifs on others. I mean, that's what our current war's about! I mean, seriously, I don't think we need to hold their hand while they piss. If they want to live in a hellhole, who are we to stop them? If they really wanted help, they would've asked. All we've been doing is getting back for 9/11.Man, for a while back then my parent's wouldn't let me out in town- My dad's family immagrated from Bohemia several decades back, and mixed with my mom's side, when I get a tan, I look like an Iraqi woman. I was like, 11, and I was afraid to walk thru the local Winn-Dixie 'cause of rednecks eyeballing me. That's made me permanently sensitive about how I look.
But seriously. What's going to become of the world if we can't learn to resolve our differences? I don't want my future childen growing up in a world filled with hate. I mean, jeeze, The world is violent enough already. People willing to hurt eachother and innocents over something stupid is no world I'd want to be born into.
And I don't get why everyone is so race-orientated. If I wanna tell a black joke, i'ma tell a fucking black joke! If Im in the middle of the mall and I want to talk to my dad about some dumbass comedian my sister likes to watch and about the race-joke thing he did, dammit, I have the right to do it! I could care less what people think of me.

Okay, I'm slepy. Time to go to bed.
Toodles poodles!